Problems Into Porn!

Maintenance is coming to fix my running water in my shower. -And let the porno be born! Wtf do you guys do at 4:30 am? I turn problems into porn!

     I can't help it...it's finally driving me bat-shit crazy. But I am such a procrastinator. My tub has been leaking slowly and it's now turned into constant running water. It only annoys me that while I'm trying to take a relaxing bath because it never stops running.

     No, I can drown out the noise, it's the continual SCALDING HOT water running from it that sucks. not only do I have to keep my feet away from that specific spot otherwise I scald myself, but also the water gets hotter and hotter and hotter -and I already take scalding hot baths, but this is ridiculous!

     So yes, one of my many talents is taking something mundane and turning it into off-the-wall hilarity! I can't just be boring and say, "My tub is leaking and someone's coming to fix it. Yay!" I have to say shit like, "Maintenance is coming to fix my running water in my shower. -And let the porno be born! Wtf do you guys do at 4:30 am? I turn problems into porn!"


.....you're welcome world.

Misconceptions About Me #523

I like how people at work think I'm constantly hungover...that's happened twice since I've worked there.
98% of the time I look like I hate the world and like shit bc I've been up all night studying and FBing about it. I'm not THAT cool!

My manger would always text me and ask me if I was out. I think he figured out I was pretty nerdy when I was like, "Um, even if I had a free night I'd probably stay home and watch Invader Zim or read."

At that, I really need to rewatch The IT Crowd and The Guild....need more of that in my life! And start on the 30 books I've purchased recently....wait, no. I need to wait till my 7 classes are done for the semester!!! Ugh! School. When will I be able to read for pleasure?!

Actually, I really like all of the stuff I have to read. It's just those pesky deadlines which kill me....and that whole work thing. And friends thing....

I need to go all Multiplicity style and create multiple me's so I can do all that I want to since apparently I'm a weak human and need sleep! Stupid sleep!!!

Nerds = LOVE!

     I'm a nerd. I like nerdy guys. Smart, witty, grammatically correct....glasses. Yea. Yup. That's what gets me goin'. The Leonard Hofstadter's of the world....

     Maybe I should start playing some D&D to find my future husband! Or is there a nerd dating site? Hotnerds.com? BigBangYourTheory.net?

I've come a long way from that cheerleadery-type to who I am now. Although, back then my friends and I passed our time playing N64 and watching the X-Files and writing X-File scripts and such, so really, I think I've just suppressed how nerdy I've always been until college.

LET THE NERD FLOW!!!!
or.....
The nerd is strong with this one!

Mmmm, Leonard. Hot. Marry me?? Our babies would be smart and sexy as fuck!

New Personal Trainers in the QC!!!

QuadCitiesFitness

Quad Cities Fitness is new in town and I just met Blake and Caitlyn and they seem GREAT!!! I've always been intimidated by personal trainers and generally hate gyms because I feel like everyone is judging me. These two will even come to your house if you need them to or you can do the online option. They also have couple and group trainings as well for the same price! They are avail 24/7 and will help you create a "diet" which let's you eat foods you like, but they'll tell you when it's best to eat certain foods and what foods to focus on without cutting out everything you love!

They are GREAT! If you have 30 minutes TWICE a week to spare they will help you get where you want to be! -No, they're not going to transform you into Mrs. Schwarzenegger (unless you want that), but they will help you tone your body and work with your diet helping you figure out what foods (that you already like) are best to be eaten at certain times of day and in moderation. They are also avail 24/7! With locations in Davenport and Bettendorf the training is PERSONALIZED so you don't have to worry about crowded, intimidating gyms with someone yelling at you to do 5 more!! Or having tons of people seemingly judge you while you get fit! There is also an online option which is REALLY COOL and sounds SUPER manageable for ppl with busy schedules in the QC!

They will be at the 3/23 Steeplegate meeting if you want to meet them and giving away some training sessions and answering any questions you have! Quad Cities Fitness is Personalized and Privatized with trainers who want to help you get where you want to be! -Also you can go as a couple or a group for the same rates -Talk to them and ask about it!!

I'm super excited about it!!! Darn taking 7 classes this semester!!! I don't have 30 min twice a week for fitness -BUUUUUT I'm totally psyched to hear how I can eat better with eating foods I already like!! Come to the Steeplegate and ask 'em any questions you have!!

(If I got anything wrong, I apologize! This is what I took from our super long, great conversation!!)

Did You SHOW Her She Was The Only One For You or Did You Just Tell Her In Passing?

     I am SO sick of guys saying, "I liked you SOOO much, bla, bla, bla, bla, BLA!" But they did nothing! NOTHING! Do you know how many guys SAY they like a girl? Say they'll do ANYTHING? SAY if you just give me a chance...

     I have given guys chances and they've been like, "Oh....yea, about that....um, nevermind. Bye." I've given guys chances and they've kissed my feet and treat me like a queen. -What's the problem with that? I want someone to love me and someone to love, not someone who's going to worship me before they really know me. I want fans (of my books) for that. I want someone to fall in love with. Not someone who's already head over heels in love with me waiting for me to get there with them.

    Do you know how many guys I deal with CONSTANTLY who ask me to give them a chance. Who say, "Just tell me what to do!" I have guys at work constantly asking me, "When are you going to let me take you out?" While saying that to many other girls. If a guy REALLY likes me he'll find a way to prove it instead of just suggesting that we should hang out or that he wants to take me out.

     Do something that sets you apart from all of the rest. Be the one who doesn't let me fall. Do something that no one else has. Don't give up. I know they're movies, but that shit works....Be Noah and jump on the Ferris Wheel and say you won't get down until she says she'll go on a date with you. Send her flowers every day at work till she says she'll go out with you. HAND-write her a letter telling her just exactly how you feel about her. Leave a note on her car with a rose. If she tells you she love 50's music, then buy a cd and play it and dance with her. DO SOMETHING!!!

     Don't just say, "I really like you and we should date and you should give me a chance." Natalie Portman's character, Alice, in Closer said it best,

"Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. 

I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words."

___________________________________________

If you like a girl to where you're on the verge of loving her, then maybe you should do something more about it than just telling her you like her and want to date her and letting her slip through your fingers....just a suggestion!

Bang OR Hang!!!

Hanging does NOT mean banging!!!

                                 *not in this girl's book!

     Frank asked me, "How many guys do you hang out with that you aren't interested in?" (or want to bang, or "like," or something like that....) in trying to make a point. I answered him with, "Um, pretty much all of them...."

    He was trying to make a point that clearly this girl was hanging out with this guy because she wants him. Which is probably true of most people -now that I think about it; unless they've already been friend-zoned. And many of those in the friend-zone are patiently waiting for the person to crack and go, "FINE! I'll give you a chance! Jesus!"

     But me....me, I'll avoid you like the plague if I like you. I currently have a crush on two guys and my friend said to me (in regard to one of them), "Just send him a message and ask if he wants to hang out!" I was like, "God no!! I'll just suffer in silence....from afar....looking at his beautiful, beautiful face...wishing he were mine." I'm that girl who needs her friends to push her into a guy. Plus I haven't had great luck with guys I've had to chase. I prefer to have them chase me!

     Maybe this is how I get myself into so much trouble. I just don't think or act like most people. If I hang out with you, I want to hang out with you -not bang you. If I want to bang you -you WILL know I want to bang you. Probably because I'll be like, "Soooo, you wanna come over and bang?"
     No bang-hanging here. If I wanna bang, we're going to bang -not hang. One or the other!! Guess I need to preface this from now on....

Bang Buddies and NOT Hang Buddies

     I don't know about you, but when I'm upset I do NOT want to talk to my bang-buddy about my boy problems; unless he's the problem. I just don't want to bang is all! You don't have to try and be my friend and listen to me or be there for me. No. Just DON'T be there for me -is how you can "be there for me." I just need to not bang for awhile until I get my "mojo" back. Don't make me be all:

     Listen Bang Buddy, I don't want to talk to you when I'm upset -that's what my FRIENDS are for. Your sole purpose is for banging. But you're going to have to understand that I also don't want to bang when I'm upset. 
     We can happy bang, angry bang, excited bang, sexually frustrated bang, celebratory bang, sleepy bang...and probably many other kinds of bang -bang. But I do NOT wanna bang when I'm upset!! Just leave me the F alone."

(Please feel free to add to my list of appropriate times to bang.)

• Hungry bang, Arbor Day bang, Birthday bang, daylight savings time bang, stuck in an elevator bang, commercial break bang, Super Bowl halftime show sucks bang.....

  
  
•  I LOVED Arbor Day Bang!! And when you fall back you can use that hour to BANG!! Ingenious!!

New Tattoos! By Jesse Diller -Meno's Ink

Harley Quinn Tatts

My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon -Heart Tatt

 

How Do You Tip?

Oh!!! Oh!!!! Is my blood BOILING?!

So....I saw this posted by a friend so I decided to share it on my Facebook. Of course all of my friends loved it and such because most either are servers or were servers or at least appreciate the hard work that servers do and understand that their money literally is in their customers hands.

Friend's Post:

Those who know me know how I truly feel about this. If you're making $2.13 an hour.... get a better job. Plain and simple. That is the sole reason I have never, nor will I ever, work in food. I know I can do better. Don't get me wrong, if you do a great job, I'm gonna tip you. However, I will never tip you more $5. If I planned on spending an extra $5, I would order desert.

My Response:

Whaaaaaaaat??? Are you kidding me?? I got a $10 tip and a $20 tip tonight!!! I make WAY more money in restaurants than I EVER did in retail! It's like commission, but YOU decide how much they get instead of the company. Remind me not to wait on you!

Random [Friend's] Chick's Response:

That's such bs. Servers usually get minimum wage plus tips. You're not going to pay out of pocket if you don't get tipped. What a whiny little shit.

My Response: 

If someone doesn't tip then that server has to take money out of their other tips to cover the tip share. Most tip shares go off of sales, NOT what you were tipped.

I think I've gotten [anywhere from] $3.09-$5.00 or $6 [at] most serving places

Whoo! I get $4.35 at my current job FYI

Random [Friend's] Guy's Response: 

if u work for $2 an hr ur fucking stupid. Plain and simple. If u bitch about it in a news article, get a life and do MY job in retail and actually have a decent good time. Even if JUST ur coworkers r the reason ur day is a good day /end rant

My Response: 

I DID your job and I make BANK in 1/2 the time of BBY and I LOVE my coworkers and boss (minus one, but we all have one....) -Even with the $$ when I was a sup. When you're an exec. at a company THEN you can talk. Do NOT act like retail is hard! I bled it for 7 years!

Then of course my friend's response who has not waited tables, but HAS worked retail and understands what it's like for BOTH jobs:

"They need a hot iron to their face." 

Now THAT sounds like a Stephanie-Solution right there!! (j/k) 

What Peter Griffin-style grinds my gears is when people make serving sound like someone's a bum washing people's windows at stop lights begging for change. 

Oh, I'm so sorry that I don't work in the high class of RETAIL anymore! I need a "real [fucking] job" again! -No wait, I make dbl the money in 1/2 the time! Have fun dealing with just as much shit as me for twice as long and 1/2 the pay! 

I think what bothers me the most is that these people were talking DOWN about servers when they work RETAIL! Like they're so damn high and mighty. -ohhhh, how far I've fallen from the great and wondrous RETAIL life! I was once on top of the world and now I'm a lowly server! How ever can I get back on top of the world again with the kings and queens of Real Jobs??