No Date, But Here's a Picture of My Dick!

           + 

      DOES NOT

      =

Dick Pix: Not what we want.

Contrary to popular belief, many women are STILL waiting for men to SIMPLY, yes I said simply....because it is that simple....to ask them out on a date.

I'm tired of the same ole excuse, which I refer to as the McFly Complex, "I just, can't, handle, that kind of REJECTION!"

That is what I've have heard time and time again. They "can't take it." We "don't know what it's like." They have "low self-esteem because of it." Bla, bla bla.

WELL! First of all, the male gender isn't the ONLY gender to face rejection. You wanna talk rejection? Women get turned down for jobs BECAUSE THEY'RE WOMEN! My friends and I get rejected all the time! One of my societal-standards-met-GORGEOUS friends was told by a guy who she approached, "Sorry, you're too short to ride this ride." Yet, more often than not, she has men 300-style dying at her feet.  

NEWS FLASH!!!!

Everyone incurs rejection -DAILY!

With that said, many people are now scratching their heads going, "Well, if she likes him, why doesn't SHE ask HIM on a date?"

Many reasons:

1) She may be just as afraid of rejection as you, dummy!

2) She may believe that chivalry still exists and part of what interests her in a partner is the outgoing attitude where HE courts HER.

3) She may not think he is interested in her and doesn't want to make the move because most guys then think she'll love/lust him forever, so she just doesn't bring it up because she knows there's no going back to normal after that and would rather have him in her life -not as a love interest- than not at all!

4) In the patriarchy that we live in enough women get the "she was asking for it!!!" argument so it's literally easier if we don't, because then a whole shit-storm of accusations for what may come about....well, comes about! 

5) If you're anything like me, if I show the SLIGHTEST interest in a guy he either moves across country and changes his name or starts planning our wedding. There is no, "Hm, yea, let's get to know each other!"    

     -God forbid people understand that you can say, "No, I don't like you like that, but we can still be friends" and move on. Many people just assume if someone likes them that they're CRAZY about them and cannot move on.

"Listen pal, I said I like ya, I didn't say you were 

the Romeo to my Juliet."

I mean shit, things don't work out I might be upset,

but there's no need to fake my death,

have you come-a-runnin back,

kill yourself because you think I'm dead,

then I kill myself FOR REAL because you

killed yourself because you thought I was dead....

 AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

*and if this DOES happen, THEN you can move across the country and change your name

You have my blessing.

Now, if you want to simply hook-up, fine, state that. Some girls might be down for that, but I'd still probably hold off on the dick pix for a few reasons:

1). In case you don't understand this concept -THAT IS A PICTURE 

                                                                         OF YOUR PENIS!!!

     She can show that to her friends, family, the guy she could be with at that moment, she could upload it to the internet and be all, "Hey, check out John's penis!" Come on man!

2). Seinfeld said it best:

It's from the episode "The Apology" and is on right now...so I figured I'd post it.

Elaine: "Whoa! Walking around naked? Ahh... that is not a good look for a
man."
George: "Why not? It's a good look for a woman."
Elaine: "Well, the female body is a... work of art. The male body is
utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a jeep."
Jerry: "So you don't think it's attractive?"
Elaine: "It's hideous. The hair, the... the lumpiness. It's simian."

3). Most women will give the picture this kind of reaction:

Don't get me wrong, I think "sexy" pictures are okay if you and your booty call are into that or if your relationship is like that, but I will tell you this, no penis picture has ever gotten me or a girl I know all "riled up." 

We've been like, "Yup, that's a penis." We either wanted to sleep with you before or didn't want to and STILL don't. We usually just sit around and make fun of every guy who's ever sent us a penis picture, whether we like him or not. 

The moral of this blog, please stop sending us

penis pictures in hopes of piquing our interests.

If you like us, ask us out ON A DATE!

None of this, "Let's go to a movie, I'm not sure if as friends or more

But we'll see if I can feel out this awkward situation and figure it out.

I've got an hour of an awkward dinner and an hour and a half of an awkward movie

to accomplish it in! Also we'll deal with the 'who's paying' awkwardness too.

This should be a fun night out!!"