That's it. I'm sick. I've diagnosed myself. I've been poisoned. Bob has poisoned me and I'm infected. [Don't worry, it's not the T-Virus ooooor the HIV.] I hate this. I hate constantly feeling how I feel. This is stupid. Love is stupid. This is why I've avoided it. Heart ache is such a stupid feeling to feel. I'm not sad, I'm not depressed, I'm not overwhelmed by any grand feeling....I'm just, heart broken. It's the feeling like when you break a bone -the rest of your body is fine, it's just pain in one concentrated area. You know it will heal and go away and one day you'll be able to look back and be unable to recall how bad it actually felt, but that doesn't stop it from hurting anymore at that very moment, or even the next day or the day after.
You guys tell me to give you a chance, it'll be different...but it NEVER is. NEVER!! And now I'm stuck like this. I'm fucking stuck until I can figure out how to get unstuck. While the one who made me this way is off living his life and loving every minute of it. He doesn't have to fix what he broke. I feel like Frankenstein's monster and Frankenstein just wants to wash his hands of it [me] and be done with it. That's probably the worst thing about heart ache and break ups -when the person who wants to end it ends it they just get to walk away. They don't have to see that person in their misery every day or hear how terribly they miss that person, or feel how awful they feel. It also reminds me of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep [Blade Runner] with their empathy boxes. I would love it, LOVE IT, if Bob was able to feel just how I'm feeling. To know just how happy he made me and how hard it was for me to even get there, just for him to drop me like a bad habit. -And with that said, he dropped me, but still smokes! Either I'm not as addictive or he sees the long-terms effects of me worse than lung cancer.
NO! YOU [he] [should] HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU [he] CREATED!!! Or I will stalk you on your wedding night and rip out your bride's heart....sorry, I won't actually just in preparation for having to read it this semester I watched the newer movie version and that's what happened....um, spoiler alter....
You all should know me well enough by now that you know I'll just sit at home and wallow in my own pity whilst blogging about it or FBing about it or make a YouTube video about it. He actually thought that I was going to possibly drive to his place and stalk him or his gf or something just because I saw on his FB that he had a gf. --Um, do not act like I created another FB account JUST to spy on yours and then hacked you accounts to find out your inner most secrets and such. I just missed your stupid fucking face so I went to your FB page and happened to see you're in a relationship.....Jesus Christ. I LOVE it how people can make something which it totally isn't.
A guy once asked me why girls would key a guys car and I told him, "Well if you emotionally hurt a girl since she knows that you [men] tend to cling to your ]their] possessions, she will hurt what you love, just as you hurt her." <---basic because="" broke="" car....i="" everyone="" going="" he="" him="" his="" human="" i="" if="" key="" like...="" m="" psychology="" simply="" so="" sure.="" that="" to="" told="" up="" was="" we="" when="">that's
what you took away from that....thanks. Glad it's over if you took that conversation like that."
People only hear what they want to hear and only see what their small minds can handle.
No comments:
Post a Comment