What Happened to the Man Who Drove an Hour to Bring me a Strawberry Shake and Make me Smile?

Talk about a knife in the side....ugh. Really? One of the things he said to me when ending it was, " I don't have the energy to try to make it work." Ouch. Oh, and we live so far apart....a whole hour. And the two times I offered to go to him he said no. And I would've gone and seen him multiple times per week if that's what needed to happen!

It just sucks. He was all about me a year ago and I was [am] all about him now. What happened to the man who drove an hour to bring me a strawberry shake and make me smile? Why couldn't I be the me now, then? I don't want to admit it, but I really did love him. Maybe I didn't love him yet, maybe I actually did. Maybe that would explain why it seems to hurt so much more with him opposed to the other guys I've dated recently. Or maybe I wasn't in love yet, but knew that I was falling for him....I don't know. All I know is that no matter which sad song comes on the radio [Pandora] I instantly become down and think of him. Anytime I see something like that picture I instantly become down and think of him. Anytime I tell a joke that was something we came up with I instantly become down and think of him. Whenever I freaking watch Invader-stupid-freaking-[actually-awesome]Zim I instantly become down and think of him.

As I said to him, "Just because we're done doesn't mean I stop liking you...."

Damn it Pandora!!! No more sad songs! The Script, Nothing....."If she see how much I'm hurting maybe she'll take me back for sure....I could change her mind turn it all around...." Ugh.

I'm never worth it. Never good enough. Never....just never. It's never me. God, I miss his face. Everything about it: his eyes, his smile, his nose, his beard....his gorgeous hair. The silly faces he'd make. How he'd blush and laugh when I'd compliment him. =/

He's one amazing guy.

Goddamn it! Gotye, Somebody That I Used to Know. Immabout to throw my computer!! (and yes, that's supposed to be one word.....)

Someone said to me, "Well, he doesn't know what he's missing. You're amazing." I said, "He knows. He doesn't care -and that's the problem. He doesn't care -about me. And unfortunately it wasn't one-sided. He's just as amazing and I know it and my say doesn't matter." It only takes one person to say it's over and it is. There's not negotiating. Unless you're Staci at work. She said her bf tries to break up with her every year, the same time....she just says no. =) That's what I should have done with Bob, "No. We're together, I'll call you tomorrow...look forward to your restraining order! Night baby! Have a good day at work tomorrow!!"